Thoughts

The other day Kyla fell down the stairs pretty badly-she was okay, just hurt and scared. She actually let me hold her and rock her for a few minutes. Usually if she gets hurt, she is mad and goes off on her own, doesn't want me and will hit if I try to hold and hug her. It is sad, because as her Mommy, I just want to hold her until she feels better, but she doesn't want it.

That makes me think of two things.

The first is; I remember when my friend died, I was 16 years old...we were at the grave dedication, and it hurt so bad. I can't even describe the raw aching in my heart. I was so devastated. I wanted to be alone. It was so cold. Dad came up to me and put his jacket on me- and I threw it back at him and walked away. He followed me and gave it to me again, ad I did it again-ruder this time. He was hurt. I was mad. I didn't want to be warm, I didn't want to be consoled or loved. I hurt inside and wanted to hurt outside too. Somehow I thought that would make the inside hurt go away. Dad saw his little girl hurting and wanted to make it all better. But I wouldn't let him. I didn't let him near me for almost 3 years.

And that brings me to the 2nd thing. Our Father in Heaven sees us hurting and wants to help. His healing is through His Son- our Savior. He knows that the atonement of Christ has real power to heal- so much more even than a mother's hug, or a Dad's coat- and so He always invites us, with open arms, to partake of His love. And what do we do? Do we run to Him and lean on Himn and find solace? Or do we retreat into our little corners and say, "Go away! I want to hurt- I want to stay angry! I don't want you!"

We are so foolish! So often, like the stubborn two year old, or the confused sixteen year old, we shy away from our source of comfort and strength.

And does he withdraw His love? No! Just like my Dad did for almost 3 years, He waits- with open arms- loving us completely...crying for our sorrows, and hoping for our repentence...waiting to welcome us home and fill us with His comfort and love.

Just as I am grateful for an earthly Father who loved me enough to continue to give me his love-I am grateful for a Heavenly Father and His unending, perfect love. I am so thankful that our girls can depend on Him and find comfort in His arms.